I’ve recently realized that I’m a wannabe rebel. I do rebellious things when I’m angry or upset or hurting, but I do them in a way that no one close to me ever knows the truth. I wonder if it counts as acting out if the people I’m acting out against don’t have the slightest clue about what I’ve done. Maybe I’m not acting out to hurt them, maybe it’s more about hurting myself for not being more assertive. I don’t know. Sometimes I like to do things that are out of character because it keeps people on their toes, but I’m finding that I’m spending more time hiding the things that don’t mesh with my character than I am flaunting them and I used to flaunt them all the time. I used to love being a walking contradiction.
Status: Introspective.
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