Feels Good

I had a great day today! I spent some time with the family, sent out another writing sample, was called for a second interview for a job that slightly interests me, made an amazing soup and still had time to get some writing done and work. I’m not sure how I crammed so much in my day, and I’m grateful for this short break before I go back to work.

I think my poetry is too simplistic, but I like simple things. I say that because I’m going to torture you with yet another poem. What can I say? I feel like sharing this week.


The Elephant

I watched helplessly as you pulled the curtain and exposed the elephant in the room
We both knew it was there,
But I was content with pretending we were alone
I told you that in a futile attempt to stop you
You ignored me, forced me to face it
“I’m not in love with you”
Six tiny daggers struck my heart
You didn’t have to say those words
You could have told me lies
Honestly, I preferred your insincere kisses to your intolerable truths
You gave me less and I never once asked for more

“I’m not in love with you”
You said it again as if I hadn’t heard you the first time
My ears were trying to reverse the process and push your words back out
My body was trying to recover from the pressure of the elephant sitting in my lap
“I said I’m not in love with you”
Three times was three times too many
I wanted to tell you I didn’t care
But what I wanted was irrelevant

I had known for a while that you were unsatisfied
I thought I could hold on long enough for you to change your mind
It wasn’t fair of me to keep you from moving on
To guilt you in to staying a little longer,
It wasn’t fair
That’s why I deserved the numbness in my heart
Put there by your admission of a fact we both already knew
The room seemed empty despite the elephant,
Barren with no more secrets

Our hollow relationship was seeping in to the air
And we were moving further away with each moment of silence
I could have said nothing and allowed you the freedom you needed
But I wanted to mend the hole in my heart, so I did the unthinkable
I said those words that always made you stay
And watched you bite your tongue and acquiesce to my trump card,
There was a flash of pain in your eyes
That appeared as I reminded you of the reason why you couldn’t leave
I knew I had won again,
You quietly returned the elephant to its place behind the curtain.


Status: Surprisingly not tired at all.