No Homo

There is a new phrase that I have been hearing a lot that I am already tired of hearing. The new phrase is “no homo.” People say things to each other like, “I love you. No homo.” My niece has sent me several chain messages forwarded to her by friends with “no homo” on their message. If I had a friend who looked at me and said, “I love you, no homo,” we’d have a problem. Whenever my friends tell me they love me, I assume it’s ‘no homo.’ I mean my friends would have to grab me and try to tongue kiss me before I ever thought they meant they loved me in a sexual way.

Part of me is tempted to play dumb when I hear that phrase and be like “No homo? Is that short for no homo sapiens? No humans? What does that mean?” Unfortunately, I don’t want people to think that I’m a complete imbecile, so I would never say that out loud. Whoever came up with the phrase needs to claim it and take it back. What kind of friends are you if you have to specify ‘no homo’ when you tell your friend that you love them? Isn’t it implicit when dealing with friends that when you say, ‘I love you,’ it means ‘I love you like a brother/sister’ and not ‘I’m in love with you and I want you?’

Yes, sometimes friends do fall in love with each other, but you have to do something about it for it to count. You have to cross the line of friendship. You can’t simply say, ‘I love you,’ because your friend will assume you mean in the platonic way unless you clue them in otherwise, by saying, ‘I love you’ and then making a move on them.

Status: Revealing how not cool I apparently am.