My review of the A-List New York

I just finished watching the first episode of The A-List New York. It’s not a show I’ll watch every week, but I could see myself checking in on the show from time to time. I love Reichen. I’ve loved him since the Amazing Race. He’s the only familiar face (besides the cameos) that I knew on the show. Of course, I’m not in New York and I’m nowhere near the A-List so that shouldn’t be a surprise.

I do think it’s ironic that Reichen thinks honesty is really important in a relationship, yet he said “Yes. I do,” when Rodiney asked him if he loved him then he told the camera that he liked Rodiney but he didn’t love him yet. I know lots of people lie to keep the peace, but I have never lied and told someone that I loved them when I didn’t. If I say it, then I mean it and it’s true.

That said, omg, Rodiney and Reichen naked together was too much. Ooh, la la. Reichen and Rodiney both have amazing bodies, but I’m not shallow…I’m just appreciative.

I will have to check in on the show again because it is clear Austin is in the show to bring the drama.

Status: Watching episode two. :-D. Please don’t judge.

Justice B. Hill, Please Stop...Thank You

I decided to take a minute and post today because I’m trying to post more regularly. I saw an article on Yahoo today that really pissed me off. The article made it seem like everyone in Cleveland is still upset that LeBron left. I’d just like to send a memo to the writer: Justice B. Hill. That news has come and gone and most Clevelanders have moved on. We may crack jokes about LeBron and take a couple pot shots, but who wouldn’t given the circumstances?

I’m from a suburb of Cleveland, but I consider myself a Clevelander through and through. Cleveland has always been a show and tell type of town. Don’t say you love the Cavs and not know that Austin Carr was once a Cavalier. Don’t say you love the Browns if you only know the name of one player on the team. Don’t say you love the Indians if you don’t rejoice when you see them listed anywhere other than the cellar and if don’t know what the cellar is then you clearly don’t love the Indians. Don’t say you know this town’s history of heartbreaks and blah, blah, blah then go on national tv and tell the town to go screw itself.

Clevelanders are the type of fans who wear their hearts on their sleeves and wait until they can be properly crushed by some local celebrity or dumb general manager. Our hearts don’t stay crushed though. We pick up the pieces, dust them off, tape our hearts back together, hold them back out and wait patiently until it’s time to repeat. We’re resilient that way. Nothing completely breaks us and that includes losing a player who clearly didn’t want to be here.

If you want to talk about something, Justice B. Hill, then talk about something that is news worthy and stop recycling the same old stale story.

Oh yeah, I do have a website

I’m slow sometimes. I was reading my last post and I realized that I am an idiot. I have a website: www.lustyville.com ! Maybe I should actually work on it. I could put my men on that site and have some of my stories and poems there. It would fit with the type of writing I do and it would be convenient. The only problem is that now I actually do need to figure out how to make certain changes to the website. I wish I was good with computers.

I’m in the mood to post another poem:

It’s Me, Not You

I had a dream that you held my hand and said you needed me.
I realized I was unprepared.
So, I’m walking away while I still have control.

Some people are built to be needed
They grow strong under the pressure of outstretched hands
I wish I could be like them
But pressure weighs me down.

Don’t misunderstand,
I’m not saying it’s your fault for trying to lean on me
I’m saying it’s my fault for not letting you.


Status: Ready to do some grading then take a look at my website.

Thoughts in my Head

I’m trying to post more often again. I’m feeling good today. I thought today would be long and tiresome because last Friday ended on a bad note, but I was wrong. Today was good. I had a lot of nice surprises, including some unexpected free time.

I keep saying that I’m going to start submitting my stories to places, but I still haven’t taken any real action. With the exception of Lucas and Lionel, I haven’t done much outside of my group and Nifty. I know I need to change that. I really have to put forth the effort to get my name out there.

I’ve been debating on joining authonomy. It looks like an interesting site. I think Starving for Love might be a good fit for that site.

I was reading the last chapter of Bump This and I know I need to post it and get it over with, but I’ve been a bit hesitant. I’m still debating on making changes.

In other news, my Brownies (Cleveland Browns) lost again over the weekend, but my Bucks (The Ohio State Buckeyes) won. It was a weekend that went pretty much as expected. I am a bit surprised that OSU is holding steady at number 2. I know they haven’t lost yet, but in all honesty, who have they really played? If they had lost any of their games so far, I would be shaking my head in disbelief. Pryor is looking good though. I hope he can keep it up against the tougher teams.

I’m debating on starting a website devoted to the men in my life (aka men from television, stories and movies). I know that’s a little pathetic sounding, but I really need an outlet now that one of my favorite columns has bid me farewell. Plus, everyone needs to know what McDean Day is. Lol. I loved those boys.

Status: Cheery-o.

Here we go again

I need to work on being more focused. I have a lot of things that I want to accomplish before this time next year. I’m working on a few different ventures but I know I need to slow down and devote my attention to one or two things. Anyway, it’s random poem day.


Mama Said

Somewhere between whispers and tears lies what’s left of us
My mother predicted this was where we would be
She said you didn’t have it in you to stay mine forever
I should have believed her
She always wanted the best for me
And she never hesitated to tell me when I was falling short
Like that day, before I committed to you,
She told me I would regret my decision
She said she wished things would work out for us,
But she felt in her heart that I loved you more
Maybe she saw it, too.
Whatever the case, the rumors started about a year later
Yesterday, I caught you
You were somewhere between mine and his
When you should have been mine.
My mother warned me about you
I should have listened to what my mama said.

Goodbye Reid and GOOL and hello Ste.

This day has been full of surprises but most of them haven’t been good. I had an interesting day at work. Most of my students have fallen in line, but I have one class that is trying its hardest to rebel.

I was over at After Elton today and I read that one of the actors from Beautiful Thing (the guy who played Ste), is going to join Hollyoaks. I may have to actually watch a couple of episodes and see how the new gay storyline is. I can’t believe Beautiful Thing was released in 1996. Seeing the year was a wtf moment. 1996! Are you kidding me? That movie is that old? I remember the first time I saw it. I was in a room by myself. It was late at night and I was scared that someone would come in and catch me watching the movie. It must have been on IFC because that was how I got my gay movie fix back in the day. There are moments in that movie that I will never forget. I remember certain scenes quite vividly. I especially remember feeling the sexual tension between Ste and Jamie when Jamie was putting the ointment on Ste’s back. It was sweet and innocent and there was nothing romantic about it yet I there was something about Jamie’s tenderness and the way Ste let his guard down.

Anyway, I’m sad. Not because I realized I was in middle school when the movie was released or because the guy who played Ste is all grown up now, but because As the World Turns killed off Reid last week and is killing the show this week and to top it off, I went to After Elton, after a hard week of teaching, in hopes of reading Gays of Our Lives and reading what all of my favorite men have been up to this week and what they will be up to next week. Turns out this is pretty much the last week of Gays of Our Lives. That sucks. I read the reasoning, and I understand, but that doesn’t mean I agree with the decision. I know I shouldn’t be complaining. I’ll continue watching my men on YouTube and other sites, but I was a little bit addicted to checking GOOL at some point during the week and I don’t like losing pieces of my routine.

I know I’m overreacting about GOOL. I always watch my favorite couples on YouTube first so it shouldn’t be a big deal that Anthony is going to discontinue his column, but for some reason that hit me hard.

Status: Thinking I should be frustrated and upset and wondering why I’m feeling a sense of loss over things that shouldn’t matter.

Back again

I’m not sure why, but I’m posting today. I am now, officially a teacher! I really like it, but there’s still that nagging voice in the back of my head that wishes I could be a full-time writer. I’m usually the happiest when I have just finished writing something. Maybe that’s why I’m posting. I’ve said it before, but I love being tormented by a story and having to get the story out before I can have peace from it. I really, really, really like teaching, but I LOVE writing. Writing never feels like a job. When I’m writing, I don’t look at the clock and count down the minutes until I have to do something else (not that I do that with teaching). When I’m writing, I look at the clock and wish for more time. I easily lose track of time when I’m engrossed in writing, especially when I don’t have something else scheduled.

Anyway, it’s random poem time again. Here’s a short one:

In Sight
I wonder if he knows that I see him
I see it all
I see the way that shirt brings out his eyes and makes his hair look darker
I see the way he smiles…at her
I don’t close my eyes to spare myself
I face it, head on
I look at him and I accept all that I see
His heart will never be open to someone like me.