Sunday, December 14, 2008

Is it 2009 Yet?

I have decided to let go of some of my fears. I have made up my mind to talk myself through some of my issues, the biggest of which is self-doubt. I’m tired of wondering what I could be doing and dreaming about what I should be doing. It’s ridiculous that I keep limiting myself for fear of how people might perceive me. And I think I’m beginning to sound like a broken record when it comes to this.

I’m not normal. I have never tried to pretend that I was. I like things that I probably shouldn’t like; my mind works in a way that most people would find odd and yet I’m okay with who I am and often brag about being weird. I’m one of those people who don’t understand what the big deal is about being normal and who sincerely doubts that anyone is completely “normal,” whatever that may be. I think it’s time to put my money where my mouth is. If I’m really okay with who I am and all that it means I shouldn’t be afraid of what will happen when I expose myself to people. I know that their judgment isn’t going to change me in any way. Knowing me, it will probably just give me inspiration for another story.

It’s a little early for a New Year’s Resolution, but I’m going to make my first one anyway: I will not let my fears cripple me in 2009. I make this sort of resolution all the time and then I fall back in to the same rut, but I know next year will be different. The fact that I’ve announced that I will begin publishing my stories means that I have to do it, so that is at least one major fear of mine that I will have to confront next year. I think I may finally be ready.

Status: Trying to work things out in my mind.

2 comments:

bow said...

We have the exact same fears haha

Lustyville said...

We seem to have a lot of other things in common as well. :-)