It’s Exactly What It Looked Like

Okay, I’m as surprised as anyone else that I’m posting yet again this week. It feels like the old days again.

So I heard an interesting story on the news last night: A PTA mom was caught in the parking lot of a school with her windows fogged up and a teenage boy in the passenger seat. The police caught them kissing and they both literally had their pants down. I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out that one. Surely they both lost their pants to a random de-pantser who was running around pulling down the pants of unsuspecting victims. The woman and the boy were so embarrassed that they immediately jumped in the car. They were so traumatized by the event that they were breathing hard and fogged up the windows and neither of them could think straight enough to pull their pants up. Yep, I really think that’s what happened….

The district has not relieved the woman of her position in the PTA yet because they haven’t heard all the facts of the case. Um, what else do they need to hear? Yes something that shouldn’t have been going on was going on. Yes the lady behaved inappropriately. This isn’t unfounded rumors. The police caught them together. She should have been let go immediately. What’s left to figure out? I don’t know most of the facts of the case, but I know the only ones that matter: she was making out with a teenage boy and they both had their pants down. Case closed. No need for discussion or hearings or due process. My verdict is guilty, not that I expect much to happen to her.

Status: Wondering what will happen with the case and feeling sympathy for the woman’s teenage daughter.

Ben Savage Makes Me Smile

I was watching Without A Trace last night because Law & Order SVU was not on and I saw the name Ben Savage go across the screen. I wasn’t sure if I was going to watch the entire episode but once I saw that name, I became more attentive because I was looking for him. I saw him and it brought an instant smile to my face and I remembered names like Cory, Topanga, Shawn and Eric. I can’t look at Ben Savage and not think Boy Meets World. Truthfully, I can’t hear his name and not think Boy Meets World. I sometimes think Little Monsters as well because I keep thinking he played a kid in that movie and his real life older brother, Fred Savage played his older brother. As a random side note, Fred Savage was good on Law & Order when he was a guest star. He’s another one who is locked in for me. I hear Fred Savage and immediately think Wonder Years and Winnie. It still makes me sad to remember that he and Winnie did not end up together, which may be weird to some because I think I was like nine or ten when the show went off and I don’t remember much about the show, but I do remember wanting to cry because of the way it ended. It hurt to know that they did not get married and I was upset that the narrator told us that, I would have preferred being kept in the dark and being allowed to fantasize that they did end up together. It’s strange that I thought so much about it when I was so young and for some reason that stuck with me.

Also, I can’t think of Ben Savage and not think of Rider Strong. Surprisingly though, Rider Strong doesn’t lead me directly to Boy Meets World anymore. I hear Rider Strong and think “Cabin Fever, what a horrible movie,” then I think Boy Meets World then I remember seeing him face to face. Rider Strong was in one of my introductory psychology classes during my freshman year at Columbia. His eyes are just as amazing in person as they looked on television.

Anyway, I brought this up because seeing Ben made me happy.

Status: Taking the scenic route down memory lane.

The Not-So-Secret Secret Service

Okay, I have never claimed to be Bush’s biggest fan, but the whole shoe throwing incident was ridiculous. Was the Secret Service asleep? How the hell does a guy get a chance to throw not one, but two shoes at the President of the United States of America? Are you freaking kidding me! I’m embarrassed as an American that something like that could happen. Although even I had a good laugh at the incident. Thanks to the world news I now know that it is a great insult in Iraq to throw your shoes at someone.

Anyway, where was the Secret Service? Aren’t they supposed to be like a few feet away from Bush at times like those? I mean I halfway expected the guy to throw the shoe and a Secret Service agent to come out of no where and knock Bush out of the way. Heck, I can even picture the agent jumping in front of Bush and letting the shoe hit him instead. I guess I’m not up to date on what the Secret Service does, because apparently none of them do shoe duty. Perhaps I can let the first shoe slide as a complete surprise, but the Secret Service took way too long to get to my President. Luckily my President has a long history of ducking things, so he was fine, but come on. They’re supposed to be the Secret Service, not the First Responders; which is to say that they are supposed to be there before something happens and as something is happening, not just after something has happened.

On a different note, I don’t think the guy should go to jail for a long time, which is what the news is saying will happen to him. Up to 2 years for a shoe? I understand that technically he attacked President Bush, but it was a SHOE people! It wasn’t a knife or a gun or a boot with spurs on it or a shoe with pins or something sticking out of it. It was a regular shoe.

Status: Thinking that the Secret Service is slipping and needs to step up its game, but feeling the need to add that I love the Secret Service in case they happen to be patrolling the Internet :-).

Is it 2009 Yet?

I have decided to let go of some of my fears. I have made up my mind to talk myself through some of my issues, the biggest of which is self-doubt. I’m tired of wondering what I could be doing and dreaming about what I should be doing. It’s ridiculous that I keep limiting myself for fear of how people might perceive me. And I think I’m beginning to sound like a broken record when it comes to this.

I’m not normal. I have never tried to pretend that I was. I like things that I probably shouldn’t like; my mind works in a way that most people would find odd and yet I’m okay with who I am and often brag about being weird. I’m one of those people who don’t understand what the big deal is about being normal and who sincerely doubts that anyone is completely “normal,” whatever that may be. I think it’s time to put my money where my mouth is. If I’m really okay with who I am and all that it means I shouldn’t be afraid of what will happen when I expose myself to people. I know that their judgment isn’t going to change me in any way. Knowing me, it will probably just give me inspiration for another story.

It’s a little early for a New Year’s Resolution, but I’m going to make my first one anyway: I will not let my fears cripple me in 2009. I make this sort of resolution all the time and then I fall back in to the same rut, but I know next year will be different. The fact that I’ve announced that I will begin publishing my stories means that I have to do it, so that is at least one major fear of mine that I will have to confront next year. I think I may finally be ready.

Status: Trying to work things out in my mind.

Out of Focus

I have spent the last two days in a mental fog, trying to force myself to focus on things that I should be focusing on instead of being distracted by things of little importance. I feel like my mind has fractured in to hundreds of pieces and each little piece has a different task that needs to be completed. Everything I have done over this 48 hour period has been dominated by thoughts of things I could be doing or should be doing and one thought in particular.

I sign on the internet to read the news and I immediately think I should be updating my blog, or adding something to my website or working on like ten other things. I start editing a story and then I start thinking about my other stories or I think about the current story idea that is parading around in my head begging for attention. I know how I can be sometimes when I get a new story idea and to be honest, I think that’s a major part of my problem.

The solution to my wandering mind is simple: find a corner, curl up with my laptop, and let the short story that is in my head out before it drives me up a wall.

If only life were that simple though. I don’t have the time this week to devote a day to writing so I’ve been trying to make up for it by writing down parts of the story while I watch my primetime programming. I hate when I get obsessed with a new story idea! I can’t wait until I finish writing down this story. The only good part of not being able to focus on anything for too long is that I suddenly start catching up short tasks that I need to do because I keep thinking of things on my mental “to do” list and obviously, the shorter tasks are easier to complete, which helps me feel like I’m at least doing something.

It’s hard to explain how one lingering thought can throw off the balance of other thoughts in my mind.

Status: Wondering if I can truly blame my lack of focus on the story idea or if it may also have something to do with me rebounding from my downward spiral from before…hmm.

A Fine Film, oh and that Twilight Movie

Today I watched a movie I had no business watching. It was sweet and sad and tender and heartbreaking. I’m really beginning to seriously fall in love with independent and foreign films. I feel like I should be going to festivals and enjoying these movies first hand. On the other hand, I wasted the day away watching that movie and clips of random movies I’ve never heard of when I should have been working or at least taking advantage of my free time and getting some writing done. I just love an original story or a story that has a way of phrasing things that reaches directly to my heart and knocks on it. Some stories go over my head, some stories are a waste of time, but some stories completely captivate me. The story I watched today had me eagerly waiting for what would happen next so much so that I decided to watch the rest of the movie and be late signing in to work because it was that important to me to know what happened. I haven’t seen a movie like that in a while. It wasn’t a happy story but it wasn’t all dark either and there were parts that were a bit graphic but they were graphic for a reason and not just because they could be.

Speaking of movies, it is with great shame that I confess to going to see Twilight. I felt like such a teenager when I walked up and bought the ticket. The bad part is that I still look like a teenager and I was with a friend who still looks like a teenager so it was weird. It felt like I was traveling back in time. I hadn’t read the book, but I heard rave reviews of the book from people I knew. I expected a teen movie and that was exactly what I got. I tried not to judge the movie too harshly. I was surprised though that the movie was fairly tame considering some of the other teen movies I’ve seen. I’m not so sure what all the fuss is about, but I’m also not the demographic that the book was written for so I’m going to keep my not so nice comments to myself. It wasn’t a bad movie per say, but it was also not a movie that makes you think or moves you in any particular way.

Status: Amazed by the thoughts and artistic expressions of others.

The Chosen Ones

I wonder about odd things sometimes. Things that have nothing to do with me, but strike my interest. Like why wouldn’t the federal government let National City Bank apply for aid, yet the federal government gave aid to PNC Bank and PNC is using that money to buy National City Bank. Hmm, to a mere citizen like me, that sounds strange. Why not just give National City the money? Why force them to merge with a larger bank? I’ve been hearing a lot about it on the local news, and apparently some Ohio politicians are wondering the same thing as me. Perhaps I should have taken some economics classes. I’m sure if I had, I would be able to make some sense of this.

Oh a different note, I have decided to attempt to learn a little html coding so I can do more things to my website. I keep talking about the changes I’m going to make to it and I seem behind in that as well. I was supposed to add some of my poetry like a month ago, if not longer, and that has yet to happen.

On a positive note though, I have been doing a lot more story editing as opposed to story writing, which has resulted in more updates than usual. Hopefully that won’t be a temporary change, but I’ve learned my lesson with making promises. If another story pops in my head or if I think of changes to make to future chapters of already posted stories, I know I will be powerless to stop myself from writing it down. Darn my mad genius! (And yes that was meant to be a facetious comment) I don’t take myself that seriously, mad, perhaps, genius, I think not.

Status: Going over scenarios for my future and trying to decide which ones are even plausible.