Thursday, March 13, 2008

At Long Last

I woke up this morning and decided today was the day I would announce my website. There was no significance to the date or anything like that, I just had a dream that freaked the hell out of me and I felt the need to get something done today. I've been talking to people about starting my author site since like November of last year, but I never did it. I started building it and then I didn't finish, which is unfortunately the story of my life. I'm a chronic beginner and a rare finisher. Beginnings are easy and simple for me, but the finality of ending something and actually getting it done bothers me. Hence why I have stories that are done, and yet I haven't posted the new chapters. My mission this year is to be more of a finisher. I think the website and the blogs are my first steps in the right direction because I'm hoping that I will be able to be more disciplined since they will require my attention on an almost daily basis.

On a completely random note, are there any dream interpreters out there reading this? If so, then you have to tell me what this dream means even if it just means that I have a vivid imagination. This morning I had the following dream:

I was walking down the side of the road and it was my street, but it wasn't my street. Anyway, I passed this white house and there was this old woman sitting in a rocking chair and she called me over. I didn't go because I didn't know her. So I walk home, and again, in the dream I feel as if the place is my home, but its nothing like where I actually live. The dream skips ahead and I'm sitting on a plush white chair and this man who is my brother in the dream comes in the house, that has now magically transformed to an apartment and he says he has someone who wants to see me. He opens the door and the old woman is standing there. I don't want to talk to her but I feel like I have to so I step outside the apartment. When I reach the hallway, the old woman is sitting there next to an old man and a middle aged woman. The old woman says she's not trying to scare me but they have to warn me so I won't die. They then each take turns describing different aspects of the death that I need to prevent. The old woman tells me of this tall structure that kind of looks like a ride and either is a ride or is by a ride but she's fuzzy on what it is exactly, the old man says there is a block near it with the date it was constructed inscribed and the middle aged woman says its near a cemetery. They say I'll know it when I see it because it will feel like deja vu and when I get that feeling that I'm looking at the three things they've warned me about, I need to turn and run away.

Then I'm suddenly in a hotel and I'm not me. I'm this averaged sized guy with a crew cut and I'm watching myself like you would watch a movie. I'm trying to find the elevator that will take me to my apartment but it isn't where it's supposed to be and I end up like in the basement of this hotel and I see a man and a woman dressed in black shooting a man who is laying on the ground. I panic and I try to hide but they hear me moving so they start chasing me. I manage to get away, then I see the old woman and she waves me over. She hides me in the back of this store and then I understand that the death she was warning me about wasn't my own, but it was this guy who everyone was seeing me as and that was why I didn't recognize anything and yet it all felt so familiar.

I know I have a vivid imagination, but this dream was definitely not due to snacking, because I had this dream in the morning after I woke up and used the bathroom and then went back to bed and dozed off for a few minutes.

Something about the dream struck a cord with me and I woke up feeling like this blog was something I had to do. I could just be crazy though.

1 comment:

bow said...

i decided to see what your very first blog entries were like, and i realized something: you wrote a lot of entries!

anyways, you asked for a dream interpreter, so i thought i would give it a shot, even though i could go completely wrong, and end up sounding crazier than your dream:

I think the old man and woman symbolizes some kind of angel or guardian. She is old in the dream, maybe to make her seem wiser. When you first felt out of place in your dream (even though you were technically in the right place), it could symbolize how detached you feel from society(real life or dream). The "you" that looked and felt like you in the beginning, but just vaguely recognized everything, could represent your subconscious self. The "you" that didn't look like you could represent your conscious self. The fact that the old woman acknowledged you in the beginning of the dream could be saying that she chose you to save yourself, like you said. The Deja vu could indicate some unresolved issue which you are not addressing or are refusing to acknowledge. The tall ride could symbolize following someone else's "path," expectations, or orders, in this case, those three guardians' orders. The cemetery and the block with the date on it(headstone) symbolizes your "near-death experience" that the conscious "you" later encounters. The old woman saves you in the end because she knew you were never going to die in the first place; the headstone in the graveyard never alluded that you were going to die literally, because the headstone didn't have your name on it.
It was merely a warning that death was near, and if you didn't follow the right "path"(tall ride), then that's how you will end up. The old woman was there to tell your subconscious self to wake up and smell the coffee, as the saying goes.

i know that wasn't the best interpretation i could muster, but it would have sounded better if i knew you better as a person. That way, i could connect it to you and your life.