Why I Could Never Be A Teacher

I had a rough morning. Today, the students in my first class reminded me why I quit being a substitute teacher over a year ago. I’m too nice of a person to shout at the students or demean them but I understand why some teachers use those tactics. Sometimes that is all the students understand. I had to tell the class to be quiet several times and they were for a moment and then continued about their business. I have a feeling that had I shouted at them to shut up, they would have been quiet. I say that, because I’ve seen it in action. Students respond to anger much faster than they respond to kindness. This same class quickly shut their over active mouths when my assistant took a harsh tone with them and told them to quiet down or else. I could have threatened them, I thought about it, but I don’t want to be that kind of teacher, hence why I do not teach. Being a kind teacher doesn’t work in today’s public schools. The students associate authority with harsh tones, loud voices and threats. I’m a soft spoken person. I’m not going to strain my voice trying to out shout or over talk half a class of students. As a result of this, I ended up only actually teaching the left side of the room because they were the only students paying attention.

I left the classroom and I was pissed with myself and the students. I felt bad because I didn’t teach everybody but at the same time, I understood that I couldn’t force the other students to learn. The same students who were misbehaving were some of the main ones begging for someone to come in and teach them the material and now they have me and they don’t even care. I take the time to answer their questions and go over information, which are two things that their regular teacher did not do, yet I feel like I am being ignored more and more each day. The answer isn’t giving all the talkers detention or in school suspension because that solves nothing in this case. I’ve tried different teaching techniques to see if maybe one method works better with them but it’s hard to judge because most of the time I’ve lost their attention before they even sit down in their seats.

By contrast, the second class I teach is a pleasure. They have their moments where they talk too much but that’s to be expected in high school. They are a pleasure because the talking is not loud and it is not consistent. Their talking does not inhibit the learning experience of their classmates. The second class is a model for how I expect a class to work. I respect them and in return they respect me. I’m not naïve enough to believe that approach will work with most classes, but I was naïve enough to believe that it would work with two classes that were begging to be taught.

So I finished today and I had a long sigh of frustration. As their fill in teacher, I am supposed to manage the class which means keeping them in order, but to do that I have to sacrifice the teaching principles I believe in and become someone mean and I’m not sure if I can do that. I mean I am physically capable of doing it and a lot of the better, even nicer, teachers do that because they realize that the students don’t understand be quiet, but they hear shut up loud and clear.

Status: Conflicted about how to approach the next couple of weeks.