Ramblings of a Cleveland Browns Fan mixed with a WTF Eric Wedge

Cleveland is a crazy town. Live here long enough and you’ll learn that. We will sing your praises on Monday and ask for your head on Tuesday. It’s the way we work. Give us instant results or go back to the bench. I remember a lot of fans were calling for Brady Quinn to be the starting quarterback. “It was his time.” “This would be his year.” Funny how, some of those same fans wanted him to be benched after his first two games and he was benched during the third game. Even funnier is that Derek Anderson, the former starting quarterback, came in the game and screwed up a little worse than Brady. I mean come on people. Derek Anderson should have been hungry to get his position back. He should have left his heart and soul out on that field so he could walk off and give Brady a smug “How’d you like that?” look. Instead, the best he could muster was to simply show up and be in position. When DA walked off the field he should have looked at Brady and shook his head, like “yeah, I know, we both suck.” There was one point during the game when DA was in and the cameraman panned to Brady and Brady had a slight laugh that he tried to mask as a grin. I couldn’t tell if the laugh was from watching the mockery that was the Browns team as a whole, or if the laugh was because DA had just screwed up. Either way, it was well deserved. The Browns stunk up the field on offense and defense for a third straight game. The best part for me was when DA slipped and fell all on his own. It really summed up the kind of game it was.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew going in to the game that the Browns didn’t stand a chance of beating the Baltimore Ravens. That’s why I barely watched the game. I turned periodically to check the score and maybe watch a minute or two of action, but nothing major. I thought for the longest time that we would finish the game with 0 points, but fortunately we were able to squeeze out three. I was happy about that. As a Browns fan, I have to take the small victories as they come, and the way they played, three points was an undeserved miracle.

It’s been announced that DA will start the next game, because he is obviously the better quarterback (yes that statement is dripping with sarcasm and no that statement is not meant to imply that Brady is any better. I think they equally suck.). I remember two years ago when DA was decent, but he hasn’t been the same since. In truth, it was his offensive line that was good combined with the fact that the players actually caught the ball. But back to the quarterback controversy: some fans are calling it a season and saying that we might as well leave Brady in so he can get experience this season and hopefully do better next year. I know it’s sad that we’re only three games in to the season and a lot of Cleveland fans have already thrown in the towel, but I can explain. Last season, we sucked, but not nearly as bad as we have sucked in these first three games. Anyway, I’m going to be a disloyal fan, as I can be sometimes, and say why not throw Brett Ratliff (our third string quarterback) in and see what he can do. What’s the worst that could happen? We lose. Haha. I say if we don’t beat Cincinnati, then DA should be benched again, and Ratliff should start. If he loses then we can take the league by surprise and get Josh Cribbs to try being a quarterback again (he was a quarterback in college). Our expectations won’t be very high. Just score a freaking touchdown and you get to be the starter for the next game. Now that I think of it, why not rotate the quarterbacks until one of them scores a touchdown. Brady does the first half, DA does the second; next game: Ratliff does the first half, Brady does the second; next game: DA does the first half, Ratliff does the second, etc. If you score a touchdown you get to stay in the whole game. I think that’s fair. I’m not really worried about our quarterbacks developing a rhythm, that hasn’t worked for us yet. I say focus on scoring.

I’m not quite ready to forfeit the season yet, but if push comes to shove and we lose a couple more games in equally horrible fashions, then I say decide who you want to be the starter for next year and let him play out the rest of this season.

On a different note, I find it absolutely hilarious that Wedge, and his entire coaching staff, have been fired but are going to coach the last 6 games for the Indians. Hmm. Why not wait until after the last game and then fire them? If Wedge actually does show up for the games then he is a better man than me. If you publicly announce that I’ve been fired, you don’t have to worry about seeing my face again. I’ll flash you the peace sign and be out.

Status: Thinking I need to take a break from watching sports.

For the Love of McDean

For some reason, I was thinking about my boys from Hollyoaks. I haven’t seen the show since Craig and John Paul left. Maybe I’m thinking about them because Craig came back in September of last year. I don’t know. Either way, long live McDean (that’s John Paul McQueen and Craig Dean for those of you who are not in the know)! And in honor of them, here is my favorite McDean scene of all time.

John Paul et Craig
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Just about every version of this video on YouTube didn’t allow embedding. Thank God for Dailymotion! I don’t know what took me so long to find Dailymotion but I sure am glad I did.

Status: Thinking that I’ll always love McDean.

Lessons Learned

I get bored sometimes and I post poems. Today is one of those times. Here’s another poem I wrote:

Lessons Learned

He finds things and reshapes them
Laughs when they don’t turn out right
He escapes with a smile
Just before everything collapses
It’s a talent, not a curse.

He’ll tell you where he’s been
And outline where he’s going
He likes to reminisce and then forget
Leaving the bad memories to gather rust
It’s a talent, not a curse.

He’s prone to stops and false starts
Sometimes quitting without trying
He says he gives everything his all
But admits he could give more
It’s a talent, not a curse.

He sees what he’s done wrong
But he won’t apologize for his mistakes
He learns as he fails
And self-corrects when he tries again
It’s a talent, not a curse.

Status: Wasting valuable time.

Look Here Kanye, Learn How to Act Right

I know this commentary is late. I wasn’t going to say anything about it, but I’ve been hearing about it all freaking day and Federer lost so I need something to bitch about before I go to bed and this seems like the most convenient topic.

I hate to disappoint Kanye West, but music award shows haven’t made sense in a long time, so why did he expect anything to be different? How do you win best video of the year, beating out all the guys and all the girls and not win best female video? Hmm. That’s like turning 8 before you turn 7, but it’s how award shows do business. Most years they like to share the awards, that way it’s always a real surprise when someone comes in one year and wins a lot. I love Taylor Swift. I’ve been a fan of hers since her first album. I know you’re probably expecting a “but” here, sorry to disappoint you, I don’t have one. I like her. I was happy that she won and pissed off when Kanye disrespected her and robbed her of her moment. Hopefully that will be his last temper tantrum for a while. I’m glad Beyonce gave Taylor the stage at the end so she could finish her speech.

I don’t watch award shows expecting the person I like to win or expecting all of the artists to be grouped in what I deem to be the correct category. Truthfully, I watch the award shows for the performances and for the shocking moments like Kanye and Lil Mama both getting on the stage when they did not belong there. Where was MTV security? Could I have walked on stage if I wanted to? Oh and Lady Gaga is trying way too hard to be different. When you try that hard it stops being “different” and starts being “special.” Yes, I said it.

Status: Bummed because Federer lost. I admit it hurt a little and has taken me a few hours to digest it. Not even the Williams Sisters winning the doubles could make up for Roger losing. :-(

I Still Love You Rafael Nadal!

Noooooooo! Rafael Nadal lost in the semi-finals! No Nadal-Federer US Open Final in 2009. Maybe next year. I was so happy about his win yesterday and now I have to face him losing today. As they say on Project Runway: One day you're in, the next you're out. Bye bye Nadal.

Status: Wondering if I should root against Federer just so he'll win. If he loses in the semi-finals too, I think I'll scream. I can't handle losing both of my guys before the finals, let alone on the same day.

The Pain of Losing aka USC Beats OSU and Clijsters Beats Serena

I had to take a moment to gather myself. First Serena lost in a most unladylike manner and then Ohio State succeeded in blowing the game in the final minutes. I guess I was rooting for the losers tonight. Maybe that should tell me something. I’m a little too wired to sleep so I guess I’ll do some writing for a while so I can come down from the pain of near misses. I kind of figured Serena would lose to Clijsters, but I never expected the ending. And as far as the Buckeyes go, I pretty much figured they would bust their asses the entire game and then screw up at the end: it’s the Ohio way. There is still a lot of college football season left, but I don’t know if my heart can take it. I’m not even sure how closely I’m going to watch the Browns this year because I don’t know if I can deal with the stress. I don’t enjoy the adrenaline rush like most people do because I hate losing. It’s far more painful to watch a game and have your team lose, than it is to just look for the score after the game is over. Okay, I’m done for the night. I just had to write about the pain of losing.

Status: Kind of bummed. The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing that Nadal won because I have my fingers crossed for a Nadal Federer Finals....

Between Two Lovers

I’m doing well today. I used the earlier part of my day wisely and bought myself some extra time to relax this weekend. I have plans for tonight and tentative plans for tomorrow night so I know I’m going to need some down time to mentally prepare myself.

I saw Final Destination 3-D last week. It was good/bad. The special effects were good, but other than that, it was bad. If you like a movie where people die in gory grotesque ways and there is very little plot, then it’s the movie for you, but if you like horror films that are gory but still require you to think a little then this is not the movie for you. I was disappointed but not surprised. Overall I’d say B+ for special effects and D- for plot (I won’t give it an F for plot because the movie did acknowledge Death’s order). The movie was pointless and left me feeling very happy that I didn’t pay to see it. Free passes for movie previews rock!

I haven’t posted a poem in a while, so I decided to post a poem today:

Between Two Lovers

It’s the in-between that suits him,
Fits him like it’s been tailored
Custom made for him and him alone
That’s what makes it different
He’s laughed and joked and played along
Walking the tightrope between both sides
Somewhere in the middle is where he’ll stay
He’ll tell them to sort things out
But he won’t stand by either
He’ll wait there until someone cuts the rope,
Freeing him to swing away.

Status: Preparing to have a good time.