Don’t Do Long Term Favors for People

I’ve learned my lesson the hard way: don’t do long term favors for people. Short term favors are still okay, but don’t commit yourself to something long term. I did a favor for someone. I am essentially working two full-time jobs. My few hours of teaching have morphed in to me basically working as a full-time teacher, because I teach classes all day, I grade papers and homework and all that crap, but I don’t get paid like a teacher. This was supposed to be for a month and now the date keeps getting pushed back. It probably wouldn’t be a problem if the kids were okay, but the kids are horrible.

The kids don’t know how to whisper. They yell at the person sitting right next to them. They are so loud that I spend about half the class time asking them to be quiet so that their classmates who do want to learn can hear me. As luck would have it, I got a cold and I was very hoarse. The kids didn’t care. I still had to try to out talk them. If I wasn’t there as a favor to someone, I would have called in sick because it was ridiculous. I have written kids up, gotten kids suspended, talked to kid’s parents and the behavior persists. My voice should be back by now. Truthfully my voice was almost back then I had a particularly bad day with the kids. I’ve been hoarse for over two weeks.

As if the voice problems aren’t enough, I find myself getting depressed and stressed out because these kids are so unbelievably disrespectful. I feel like I’m being tortured. I get up early in the morning just so I can spend the day being treated like garbage, then rush home and work my regular job so I can have some real money coming in, then grade homework or tests, plan the lesson for the next day and go to bed with the horrible truth that I have to get up the next day and repeat it all over again.

My writing has been relegated to the back burner and I think that is contributing to my unhappiness. I’m one of those people who need to write. My sister laughed at me the other day when I told her I feel like I must have wronged someone and I’m being punished for it. I told her I wish I knew what I did because I would find that person and tell them how truly sorry I am and apologize until they forgave me and released me from this curse.

I could quit, and I think I will soon because I can’t deal with the way I’m being treated. Of course, I’ll give proper notice. Hopefully I keep my word this time. I said I was going to stop doing it when the original time we agreed to was up, but that date has come and gone and I’m still submitting myself to a constant barrage of mental and verbal abuse.

As for this blog and my writing, I’m going to try to find some time to get back to both because I think that will help relieve some of the stress I feel.

Status: Hoping I can get out of this mess.