Thanksgiving has come and gone and I’m starting to realize that the holidays are not good for me. I’m always excited leading up to the holiday, then the holiday comes and I have to worry if I’m going to be dragged along to visit people or if people have invited themselves to my family dinner. Fortunately this year was free of people who invited themselves and visits to people other than immediate family who I want to see. This is the first year in a long time that I could say that.
The reason the holidays are not good for me is because the next day I start thinking about all the goals I had the previous year and how few of them I’ve accomplished. There were a lot of things I wanted to have done by Thanksgiving and my actual results were rather disappointing. I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s life or both, but something is off.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a glass half-full type of person, but there’s something dragging my spirit down, if that makes sense. I need to figure out what it is so I can go back to the ridiculously happy me that I miss so much. The ‘me’ that I only see occasionally now.
Status: Wondering if I’m beginning to have a problem with depression or if my life really is that depressing.
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2 comments:
I feel the exact same way about my life right now.
about the "me that I only see occasionally now" and that "there's something dragging my spirit down"
believe me, I've always been able to know a depressing life when I see one. but I never thought it would be my own. maybe that's what's so depressing... the knowing part
I know it's not funny, but I had a good laugh when I read your last line. That is so true. It's the knowing part. If I could convince myself that my life is better than what it is, then things would be fine, but I wake up every day and have reality staring me in the face. I need to work my way out of this funk though. I've been trying to do that by giving myself smaller, more attainable, goals to strive for so I can have small victories instead of large defeats. I'm hoping I can psych myself in to feeling better.
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