Happy Birthday!!!

Today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me! The past few years I’ve been treating my birthday like any other day, but today was extra special. I turned 25. I am a quarter of a century old. My family surprised me by taking me out to dinner. Then I had cake and watched a movie with the family then the rest of the Detroit-Boston game. Boston won!

A few of my good friends called me today to wish me a Happy Birthday. I hadn’t heard from one of them in almost a year, so it was an extra special phone call.

Status: I am officially one year older.

Not A Good Memorial Day Weekend

It was a rough holiday weekend. There was another death in the family. I didn’t know that person well either, but when I went to her house to see her daughter, I remembered her daughter and I remembered the house so I know I’ve been there more than once during my adult life. I don’t recall staying there long either time and I can’t picture the face of the woman who died either, but at least this time I remember something. I don’t think I can get out of going to the funeral so I guess I’ll be there whenever it is.

I had a lot of family come in to town on my father’s side. A few of them were from Detroit so they were pretty upset when the Detroit Pistons lost the home game to the Boston Celtics. I’m sure they were happy that the Pistons won last night. I don’t care whether Detroit or Boston wins because my Cavs are gone, but I keep hearing rumors that everyone wants Boston and LA in the finals so I can’t stop myself from watching parts of the Boston-Detroit games. I must be one of only a hand full of people who don’t like the idea of a Boston-LA matchup. I’m not sure why I don’t like it, probably just because everyone else loves it, but I don’t want to see it. Of course I’ll sneak peeks at the games no matter what. I just won’t be watching the full game. I haven’t seen an entire game since the Cavs lost.

All in all, events have conspired to keep me away from the computer, but I’m back now and I plan on posting the Starving for Love update soon.

Status: Tired of distant relatives dying and apologizing for being so heartless.

Re-tiling is a Word. Isn't it?

I re-tiled a bathroom all by myself today (which is technically yesterday at this time, but it will remain today to me until I go to bed and wake up to a new day). So back to tiling the floor: Go me! I’m not saying I enjoyed it, but I am saying trying to cut the perfect piece for the trimming parts was rather relaxing. I tend to think about things too much so it was nice to literally clear my mind for a while. I found myself focused on laying the next piece down and lining it up properly, then I started the trimming and I was halfway done trimming when I realized that I had only been thinking about the tile for almost an hour. I think my mind needed the mental reprieve and I’m sure it was great for my emotional well being, too. I was supposed to have help with the job and usually I would be upset that I ended up doing it alone, yet that didn’t happen today. I appreciated the “me” time. I didn’t even get tired of it. I just did it, like a robot: Peel the paper off, line the tile up, place tile down. I had a system and everything.

I know the story of me putting tile down is not exactly riveting, but it was most of my afternoon because I had to move everything out of the room, then pull up the carpet, then put down that black paper you put down before you start putting the tile down, put down the whole pieces of tile and then finally, cut the pieces I needed to do the trimming.

On a random note, I watched Atonement this evening. I’ve wanted to see that movie ever since it came out. It was another slow movie, but I liked the story because it touched my heart and broke it all at once. It’s so sad to know that there are some things you just can’t undo no matter how much you wish you could.


Status: Still thinking about the movie.

Wal-Mart or MacDonald's?

I’m not sure if I did anything productive today. I feel like yesterday I did so much and today I did so little. I did manage to go to Wal-mart today, for the second time this week. I had done a good job of avoiding it. I tried the new MacDonald’s Southern Style Chicken sandwich today. Since when did chicken with two pickles on it become a good sandwich? The sandwich was small and nothing worth bragging about or ordering again. I wish I would have tried it when it was free with the purchase of a medium or large drink, because that’s about all the sandwich was worth.

Status: Not appreciating free time.

Simply Tired

I feel like I competed in a triathlon and I am physically exhausted. I spent most of today running errands for other people and rushing to get my own work done. It seemed I had just enough time for everything else and absolutely no time for myself. I haven’t had a moment to just stop and relax all day. Thankfully tomorrow will be better.

Status: Tired.

Working Like I Never Have

I’ve been thinking a lot about the people in China who have been affected by the earthquake whether directly or indirectly, but mostly my thoughts are with the parents who lost children. I can’t imagine being told you could only have one child and then losing that one child. It’s bad enough losing some one you love in general, but to lose your only child under these circumstances seems even more painful.

In terms of updating my posts, I need to try to get back to updating everyday but my time has been greatly limited by the freelance thing and the part-time job that I foolishly added more hours to in an attempt to be prepared for two weeks in Vegas.

Status: Feeling overworked.

Better Than Yesterday

I went shopping again today (no Wal-mart for a change). As I was out, it occurred to me that I haven’t updated my job hunt in a while. I’ve found a freelance position for the next few weeks, which is perfect because my vacation is quickly approaching. Life is looking up for the moment.

I was flipping through one of my old notebooks today and I found a poem I wrote. I don’t know when I wrote it but here it is:


Owned

Depression is a word you claim to own
Syllable by syllable you form your lips around it
Depression is a word you claim to need
Letter by letter it takes you away from the present

You can spell that word forwards and backwards,
Sideways and upside down on most days
You can spell the “d” word without flinching
Stripping depression down to its core

“An unwarranted and prolonged condition of emotional dejection,”
One definition of your state of mind
An unwarranted and prolonged repression of admission
The decision to delineate your condition with one word

Depression, like the puppy you wanted as a child
Or a blanket that keeps you warm and comforts you through the storm
Depression, like the puppy that’s become a large dog with rabies
Or the two faced friend that smiles in your face and laughs behind your back

At first your heart ached to be free, but depression held it hostage
Captivity fostered the Stockholm syndrome you deny
At first your heart remained a necessity then it soon became an accessory
The word you claim to own has made a victim of you.


Status: Two steps away from skipping.