I woke up this morning and tried to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life. Am I really just a dreamer? I can’t accept that yet. Every few months, I get inspired and I spend a day or maybe even a week, focusing on my writing and promoting Lustyville and LT Ville, then my energy fades and I’m back to focusing on my day job and neglecting Lustyville and the people who read my stories. To be honest, I infuriate myself sometimes. I have to break this pattern. I need to “go hard” with writing and promotion for an extended period of time.
I’ve been on twitter for a while and I’ve only recently discovered some important features. I googled Lustyville and found some items from an online shop I was going to open are currently available online, but wait, there’s a punchline: most of the items are blank because I never went back and uploaded my logo. Yay! Go me! I’m very annoyed with myself right now.
The kicker for me came last week when some of my students were telling me about their dreams. I couldn’t help but think of my own dreams. I should be actively pursuing writing; instead, I’m embracing my current situation. Who does that? Yes I have bills to pay, but lots of people maintain a day job while working towards achieving their dreams. I don’t want fame. I’ve never wanted that because I don’t like the idea of being harassed in public. I just want to make writing my full time job. I want to be paid to sit at home and write all day or all night. I want to love my job and the only job I can imagine loving forever, is writing.
Random thought:
It’s nice to have this blog so I can vent to myself.
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