New Year's Resolution...a Little Early

I can feel myself trying to slack but I'm not going to do it this time. I am going to stay focused. 2012 will be the first year in which I achieve my big goal. I have to stop being satisfied with small victories. It's time for me to win the battle once and for all. I will have a career as a writer by the end of 2012. I know I can do it.

Starving For Love Has a New Price

I did it! I have changed the price of the Kindle version of Starving for Love to 99 cents. I’m definitely going to keep it that way during the holiday season and depending on sales, I may keep it that way a little longer. My main purpose is to get more people to read the story.

In other news, winter break is almost here. I have so many things to do. Number one is to edit the next chapter of Places to Heal and get that posted. After that, I’m hoping to update Slices of Apple Pie.

Fear Factor

I saw that Fear Factor is back. I can't watch the show because some of the scenes gross me out and leave me feeling icky. The idea of bees all around me is horrible. I can't watch it without feeling like something is crawling on me. I could maybe deal with having snakes crawl all over me, but I don't know. The sad part is that I like a lot of the other things. I think the physical challenges are usually awesome, but the rodent, bug, insect, creepy crawly thing is too much.

In other news, I need to write a good introduction paragraph so that I can have it on standby. I had a long experience with one today and I don't want that to happen again.

Adventure

I'm being adventurous with love for the first time in my life. I've always been the caustious type but I'm slowly breaking out of my shell. It almost feels like I'm becoming someone else. This isn't a butterfly thing, but this is me doing my best to be open to all that life may bring.

A Tale of Two Hearts

I’m trying to update more regularly. Today I decided to post a random poem like I used to do when I didn’t have much to say.

A Tale of Two Hearts

I grab the jagged edges of the broken heart you left behind
And I hold it to my chest and squeeze it tight.
I couldn’t fight any harder than I did
So I’m okay with my bloody hands
Because your hands won’t bleed like mine.

If we switched positions, your hands would still be clean
You wouldn’t allow yourself to hold something wounded
You’d shave the edges of the broken heart and fill in the voids
Then you’d say it was fixed
You wouldn’t care that it was smaller and missing pieces
Because your eyes have been trained to overlook the details.

I like the details, even the ones that draw blood
I want to be able to identify where it hurts, so I can begin to heal
You may be winning now, but when it’s all said and done
My heart will look like new and yours will look worn.

The Itch

I spent a lot of yesterday writing a new story. I stayed up about an hour later than I usual do on a Sunday night, but I woke up this morning feeling better than I have in a long time. I love being inspired. I love the sweet agony of being tortured by characters vying for my attention. I know it sounds crazy, but there’s a world in my head that most people probably couldn’t even imagine. I’m focused right now. I have a date set and a goal in mind. It’s frustrating to have this story trapped inside of me and not have the proper time to write it because I have to work.

I miss staying up all night working on a story. I miss writing until my eyelids start to close on their own. I miss having three hours of sleep and not caring, because all I can think about is getting back to the computer to write more of the story. I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling anxious, but I have this sinking thought that if I don’t do it now, I’ll never do it. I have to establish myself now. I have to work hard now. I have to find a way to stay focused this time. I can’t keep bouncing back and forth.

I have like this itch inside of me. I don’t know what it is, but now is the time. I’m certain of that.

Look Out World, Here I Come

I have a new goal for myself. I hope to make a living as a writer by June 2012. I’m tired of talking the talk. I refuse to still be in the same position at this time next year. The only person who can change things is me. I need to get off my behind and hustle. If I’m not willing to lose sleep in order to pursue my dream then maybe I don’t deserve them. I always talk about people who don’t put forth effort, but I need to look in the mirror. I can and I will do this.

Status: Feeling reinvigorated.