Fear of "The Gay"

While in Vegas, I overheard a lot of conversations, but there was one that really bothered me. I was eating dinner with my family and there was a large family sitting near us. I noticed a little boy, who was probably no older than 7 or 8, playing with his mother’s hair but I didn’t think anything of it so I looked away and then continued talking to my family. Anyway, a few minutes later, I heard the father tell the boy, “stop playing with mommy’s hair like that. It’s fine for you to put it in a ponytail but you can’t do what you just did. That’s something Sergio (said with a lisp) would do.” Then the father continued speaking with a lisp for a moment, “And you don’t want to be like Sergio.” The father laughed and so did the older children, but I was not amused. It made me sad to hear the father say that. It was clear what he meant.

Why do parents teach their children such things? Why make a child ashamed of something that there is nothing wrong with? Every little boy who plays with his mother’s hair does not grow up to be gay and contrary to popular belief, every male hairstylist is not gay either, much in the same way that every male ballet dancer or designer is not gay. My goodness, can people step out of the box and think for a moment! What the little boy was doing was perfectly innocent and the father made it in to something that it wasn’t.

Children should be free to express themselves and learn who they are without their parents telling them who they’re not allowed to be. Of course that statement is limited to things within reason, obviously if the boy was going around in public touching himself in an inappropriate way, I would want the parents to do something about it, but playing with mommy’s hair? Is that really so offensive? If the father would make an issue, in public, of something so minor, just imagine what he’s saying to that boy and the rest of his children when they’re at home.

I know I have no right to judge the way people raise their children, but I do have the right to have an opinion and I definitely had an opinion on this situation. I didn’t say anything to the father or to my family, but all I could think was ‘and people wonder why there’s so much intolerance in the world.’ I can’t say all, but I do believe that most people learn their intolerance at home. That man could very well believe that he is a tolerant person, and he may have a gay friend or a gay brother even, but his subtle comments are teaching his children that it is not okay.

I am well aware of the fact that everybody does not believe that homosexuality is okay, but I wonder if it possible to dislike something without making your position clear to your children. I don’t think it is, but it would be nice if it was.

Status: Understanding that Utopia is not real.